Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Innocents Abroad - Chapter Four - 35

by Mark Twain


We celebrated a lady's birthday anniversary with toasts, speeches, a poem, and so forth. We also had a mock trial. No ship ever went to sea that hadn't a mock trial on board. The purser was accused of stealing an overcoat from stateroom No. 10. A judge was appointed; also clerks, a crier of the court, constables, sheriffs; counsel for the State and for the defendant; witnesses were subpoenaed, and a jury impaneled after much challenging. The witnesses were stupid and unreliable and contradictory, as witnesses always are. The counsel were eloquent, argumentative, and vindictively abusive of each other, as was characteristic and proper. The case was at last submitted and duly finished by the judge with an absurd decision and a ridiculous sentence.

The acting of charades was tried on several evenings by the young gentlemen and ladies, in the cabins, and proved the most distinguished success of all the amusement experiments.

An attempt was made to organize a debating club, but it was a failure. There was no oratorical talent in the ship.



Continued next week. Tomorrow's installment from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum.

More About This Book


This travelogue cemented this rising author's reputation when it was published in 1869.

Chapter Summary: The Pilgrims Becoming Domesticated--Pilgrim Life at Sea--"Horse-Billiards"--The "Synagogue"--The Writing School--Jack's "Journal"--The "Q. C. Club"--The Magic Lantern--State Ball on Deck--Mock Trials--Charades--Pilgrim Solemnity--Slow Music--The Executive Officer Delivers an Opinion

Photo: Samuel Clemens (aka Mark Twain) by Matthew Brady Feb. 7, 1871.

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